What can I say?
The last two weeks or so have been a whirlwind. I’ve essentially been a nomad of sorts in trying to close out a chapter of life and prepare for a new start.

The beginning of this story stretches from quite a while back. Things were extremely confusing so it was hard to sketch out a story (which typically has a beginning, climax, then ending. When you don’t know the ending though…)

By last August, knowing that my job in PEI would be coming to an end, I had started applying to anything and everything I remotely qualified for, whether I was interested or not. My reasoning was that if I had to spend the effort to look for a job, I might as well get all the interview experience I could get and hopefully improve by the time I was in the one that counted.

At the same time, I informally let everyone around me know that I was looking for something and asked them to keep an ear out for me. There were lots of potential whisperings floating around at the time – nebulous unofficial possibilities but nothing quite solid. Kind of a “so and so thinks there might be an opening here. If you’re interested, they’d be willing to interview you.”

And so, throughout the month of September and October, I wrote multiple job exams, attended multiple interviews, and had information conversations with people who were keeping an ear to the ground about job possibilities. It was a rollercoaster of emotions as I did what I could and then waited. Did more and then waited.

I received a 2 year temporary job offer but eventually turned it down because they were asking me to do substantially more work and refused to budge when I asked for additional money or benefits to match the level of responsibility. This seems super obvious in hindsight but I struggled with this decision for a few days since it’s never easy to turn down a job.

My boss in PEI though lauded me for being firm on this even as I wibbled. “Don’t sell yourself short. You need to recognize that you have good skills to offer and are in a position of negotiating. You’re not a student anymore.”

Interestingly, when I was updating a past client on my situation, she wrote back saying: “Wait. You didn’t take that job? I have a 1 year temporary job available. Want it?”

So, one week before my job in PEI ended, I took her up on that temporary job offer, with the idea that even though the work didn’t really align with my interests, at least I would be working with someone I liked and I would be learning something new.

My last day on the job in PEI though, I got a phone call from a job I had applied to during those whimsical September times. They were offering me a job in Calgary! And while it was on my lips that I had already informally accepted another job, although nothing had been signed, he kept talking about the job and selling the benefits, and by the time he was done, I was torn.

And so, even on my last day of work in PEI, I was not able to tell my coworkers where I would be moving on to.

The timing was interesting though since I had scheduled a bit of a break for myself to go down and visit a friend in Louisville, Kentucky right after my job in PEI ended. What was supposed to be a relaxing and reflective time turned out to be a “looking forward” time instead. After lots of calls back to the homeland and with friends to weigh in on the options, I accepted the job in Calgary.

Hence the chaos.

I spent last week packing all of my stuff, saying my last goodbyes in PEI, and driving my car back to Ontario (where it is more easily retrievable). Thankfully, the drive was mostly uneventful except for all the sleet I had to drive through in Quebec.

This week, I am in Calgary to meet my new team and to look for an apartment. I was told that the market is to my advantage because of the economic downturn but I have to tell you – the apartment offerings that are available are still pretty slim. To be honest, I’m stressed about finding something to call home that would be decently close to work and would not break the bank. There was an apartment that I liked but by the time I called back he had already rented it out. Super anxiety-inducing.

Really, moving in general is anxiety-inducing. Everything is uncertain and I’m hyper aware that in a new city far removed from friends and family (not that PEI was close), I’ll be more isolated and vulnerable than ever. And yet, God so clearly was with me this past year on PEI. When I read back through journal entries when I first arrived on the island, I’m stuck by how foreign those anxieties and thoughts now sound. The first 2 months or so was a struggle to get my footing in the office, to learn all I needed to learn at work and not make a fool of myself, to find a church community, to be ok with not having similarly aged peers to hang out with. (PEI really is a tough place for single young adults – the majority have moved off the island for work.)

I read entries that are along the lines of “I have no idea what I’m doing at work, help!” and where I’ve brought work home over the weekend to deal with the steep learning curve. Which only makes it all the more astounding when I was so clearly validated over and over by my boss and my colleagues when my parents came to visit, and as they said goodbye to me. God pulled me through and I grew to impress the others and myself with how quickly I rolled with everything.

And still, God was with me in rescuing me (last minute) from more temporary jobs and from returning to a city that I honestly didn’t really want to go back to. When I got the job offer in Calgary, a part of me longed to stay in Ottawa of course, because it was familiar and comfortable, but I remember that I was hugely disappointed back in September when it was looking more and more like I would be returning to Ottawa. It took me some days to come to accept that future and to rejoice in it.

So this is what it is. No matter how many scenarios God gets me through, I still need to raise my Ebenezer. Till now the LORD has helped me. Let me keep faith in his goodness.